50 Shades of Procrastination

Devyn Dawson

    I scowl at the laptop in frustration.  Damn that book, damn that deadline, damn those words that won't come.  I should be writing...but I'm petting my cat and watching Ellen.  The doorbell rings and I run down the stairs to answer the door.  I sign the UPS guy's clipboard.  As he walks off, I notice that the grass hasn't been cut.  I walk into the kitchen to call the lawn guy...I clear my dry throat to leave a message.  I forgot about my cup of coffee, I'm sure it's cold.  I start a fresh pot of coffee.  I remember that I have to write a note to write in a new character by the name of Braun, which sounds like brew.  Where is a pen when I need one?  I rummage through the drawer and not only find a pen but a pair of toenail clippers too.  I run into the bathroom and clip my fingernails.  I notice the laundry hamper is full, I go and throw a load of laundry in the washing machine.  The cat is running through my feet, telling me to feed him.  Crap, what will I cook for dinner?  I run in the garage and grab something out of the freezer, I see the caulking gun on the table by the freezer...so that is where I put it.  I grab it so I don't forget to go outside and caulk the windows.  It's Wednesday, that means I have to tweet about 'Writer Wednesday'...where did I set my coffee down?  Oh hell, I forgot to hit the brew button.  My puppy runs up and rings his bell, which means he has to go potty.  I grab his harness and his leash and go outside.  The neighbor stops me and asks if I'll sign her copy of my book for her granddaughter. We chat for a few minutes and promise to get together soon. I hurry the dog to do his thing, but he wants to mark all of the mailboxes...he's very diligent about marking mailboxes.  I walk into the house and smell the coffee, oh heaven is real.  I sit down with my laptop, completely focused on writing....I open up the document and read the last couple of pages to get the feeling of the words.  What on earth was I thinking about when I wrote that paragraph?  I better check my book sales, because they may have changed dramatically since the last time I checked.  Facebook is still open from earlier in the morning, one of my groups has had a lot of activity.  I better check it out, something major may have happened.  Do I have a doctor appointment tomorrow?  I check my calendar, I know not to trust it...I should call.  After a quick call, I find I do have an appointment.  Since tomorrow will be a wash, I will double up on my daily goal. Instead of 3 thousand words, I'm sure I can squeeze out 6.   How many words did I write today?

I wonder what Christian is doing?  I think I'll send him an email.  A nice cup of Twinings English Breakfast Tea should get the creative juices flowing.  I bite my lower lip as I wait for his reply to my email.  I drink my tea and feel tired from a long night.  I'm going to close my eyes, a fifteen minute nap won't hurt anything.....

Some days go very similar to the above story.... I'm a self-diagnosed A.D.D. sufferer.  Happy writing... now stop reading blogs and go write!

New team member: Frankie Rose

Author Incident Report

Offender: Frankie Rose
Offence: Succumbing to ‘The Rage’
Book title: Sovereign Hope
Release date: 1st July 2012


Incident:

On June 4th 2012, while walking to work, one Mr. Ivan Andrews of 4271 West Avenue, witnessed the alleged offender, armed with a neon pink spaghetti strainer, hanging from a tree, screaming abuse and throwing her shoes.

Upon approaching the alleged offender, Mr. Andrews enquired as to what seemed to be the problem. At this point, the offender is reported to have sworn profusely at Mr. Andrews and referred to him as a “stupid, stupid man.”

Mr. Andrews then reports that the alleged offender began climbing further up the tree in an attempt to reach a bird in the higher branches. Mr. Andrews suspects the bird was a Whip Poor Will, having heard its repeated calls from the sidewalk. The birdsong, Mr. Andrews reports, is what appeared to be sending the alleged offender into what he referred to as a “murderous rage.”

She was heard to scream, “I swear I’m going to kill you. You just wait. I’ll going to make you suffer, you monster!” At this point, Mr. Andrews was met by a couple of women passing in the street who apparently knew the alleged offender. Both women were sympathetic to the offender’s cause, and began cheering her on. Confused, Mr. Andrews claims he asked the women what was going on. He indicates the women told him the alleged offender was a writer, and the bird had been singing outside her study window for extended periods of time, distracting the alleged offender from her work. This, according to the women, was unacceptable behavior.

Mr. Andrews then witnessed the fire brigade arriving. The alleged offender was removed from the tree by force, where she was restrained until state medical workers arrived to assess her mental condition. The alleged offender was heard to shout, “It’s not my fault he has a death wish. I’m on a freakin’ deadline!”

The alleged offender will be detained for an undetermined period of time, until she displays the necessary composure to return and function as a normal member of society.



THIS IS HOW I FEEL SOMETIMES. THE BIRDS JUST DON’T SEEM TO GET IT.


Us writers… sometimes we get touchy. For me, I’m usually at my worst when I’m reaching the final stages of my manuscript and the light is visible at the end of the tunnel. I want- no I need everything to happen quicker than it is. I feel like if I don’t get things down today, or preferably yesterday, then I’m liable to forget all of the perfectly imagined scenes that have plagued me for weeks already, waiting impatiently to be penned. Or more accurately smashed out against laptop keys with an electric fury. I like to call this period of writing ‘The Rage’.

While mid-Rage (like other authors, I’m sure) I may or may not have the tendency to overreact to minor distractions and interruptions.

Possibly.

I’ve been known to shoot my husband an exasperated look while saying, “No, of course I don’t want food!” My body’s requirement for sustenance is obviously on hold, since I’m so unbelievably close to completing my book that it understands I don’t possibly have time to eat. I survive off my fat reserves during The Rage. I know this. My body knows this. And now so does my husband.

Thankfully, my better half also understands my need for complete control over my surroundings when I’m summiting the final haul of my mountainous battle to Complete The Book. He doesn’t mind me screaming out of the window at the amateur-hour workmen doing very important ‘construction’ work (digging a big hole). He doesn’t mind me walking around in my mermaid-print PJs during the day, because I’m too angry at the disorganized state of my wardrobe to consider rooting through it to find something appropriate to wear.

I’ve tried to change. I even tried yoga, which, for me, was an incredible step into uncomfortable territory. I’m more likely to attend a Muay Thai class than Pilates. Let’s just say, the tranquility didn’t stick. I’m never going to be the flower power-type hippy with a daisy in my hair, concentrating on drawing my consciousness into my crown chakra. That’s just not me.

So I do other things. I run; I listen to raging music to match my raging mood; I manage to growl in such a way that implies I’m not beyond chewing off a limb if anyone disrupts my flow. I’m sure most authors out there must have coping mechanisms prepared for the most stressful parts of their writing processes. I’m keen to learn what they are. Who knows- maybe I’m not the most psychotic person to ever abuse a laptop.

There have to be hundreds of potential remedies to cure The Rage. If anyone feels like sharing their sure-fire tips for guaranteeing they don’t end up in a tree, brandishing novelty colored kitchen utensils while mental health workers discuss the best way to jimmie them into a straight jacket, then please feel free to share!!!

In the meantime, I’ll concentrate on blocking out the world and writing some more books. I hope someone, somewhere out there, likes them.




Frankie Rose is a twenty-something author who is angry less frequently than she makes out. Her debut novel, Sovereign Hope, is released on the 1st of July, available in ebook and paperback from most online stores. She invites you to nosy through her website at www.frankierosewrites.com, where you can find a teaser for her Sovereign Hope, as well as the book trailer!

Interview with Victoria Simcox

Interview with Victoria Simcox

Have you ever gotten an idea for a book or part of one of your novels from something or somewhere unexpected?

I would have to say that most of my ideas are unexpected. I rarely plan too far in advance what I'm going to write. My ideas come to me as I write.

Did you always know you would write a novel? Why did you finally decide to write one and when?

Though I've always been creative, mostly in painting watercolors, I didn't think I would be a writer. It was actually a vision I had while sitting in a movie theater watching a flick the inspired me to start. I only saw the first scene of my story, probably half a page of writing.  Then when I started writing the story, it just started flowing to me.

Is there anything you’d like to go back one year to tell yourself?

I don't think so. Part of life is to learn from my past mistakes, also I challenge myself to walk by faith and trust that what is to come is meant to be. I believe there is purpose to all I go through whether good or bad, and in the long run it will be to my benefit and make me a stronger person.

Who are the writers who've inspired you the most?

 C.S. Lewis, J.K. Rowling, Lemony Snicket. There are more but these are the first that come to mind.

Was there ever a time you felt like giving up? Why didn't you?

Sure. There are times when fear tries to creep into my mind and tell me that all I have written and will write in the future is in vain, but the joy of writing, inner inspiration, and fan letters letting me know that they love my story, out weigh the fear.

Who is one person in the past or present who you felt was truly visionary?

J.K. Rowling: Her mind is labyrinth of creative ideas.

When you were growing up, what did you want to be?

A zoo keeper; I actually took one of those aptitude tests as an adolescent and zoo keeper is what it suggested I become.  I was like "YES!" this is a sign from God, lol. I've always been a big animal lover. But then when I became a teenager, my passionate love for animals some how mellowed and like most teenybopper girls of the 80s, boys became the main focus.

Check out Victoria's personal Blog @ www.victoriasimcox.blogspot.com

Interview with AG Bellamy

 

Hey all you readers and writers! Emma Michaels here to introduce our guest author of the day:

AG Bellamy

Hello AG and welcome to The Writers Voice!

Is there anything you’d like to go back one year and tell yourself?

“Don’t write in first person present- you haven’t got enough experience to write like that. Besides, it’s not right for the story you’re trying to tell. Save yourself some embarrassment and have the courage to ask people for their absolute honest opinion.”

Who are the writers who've inspired you the most?

JK Rowling. I grew up with Harry Potter and come from a similar background to JKR. She made wizards cool again and she’s part of the reason I use magic in The Nightmare Man. He’s not technically a writer, but I have to give some credit to my childhood imaginary friend Richard. When I was little, my father wasn’t around so my mind created a father figure for me until I was thirteen when I started to pen the stories that would eventually become The Nightmare Man; he used to tell me stories about his family, his friends and the job he had. There’s a small part of me now which is happy that his stories are out there to be read.

Was there ever a time you felt like giving up? Why didn't you?

A lot of stuff happened during college, mainly the fact that I was stupid enough to enter into scamming publishers but smart enough to get out just before anything more happened. I was also being bullied a lot. This may sound like it should have put a stop to my writing, but I needed an outlet for my depression and anxiety which almost drove me to suicide. I started thinking about Richard and the stories he used to tell me.

Who is one person in the past or present who you felt was truly visionary?

There are so many… Can I pick twenty? Since I can only pick one I guess it’d be Seth MacFarlane; I love Family Guy and American Dad and a lot of the satire in my book came about because (although he did rip off The Simpsons in many ways) I admired the jokes he writes. He’s also a trained musician, singer and gets his friends and family involved with his work. I’d like it to be this way in the event that my book becomes a film; my friends getting involved with the filming and my family being there to see it filmed and probably having cameos.

J.K. Rowling and other authors are known for the ‘Easter eggs’ they hide in their books. Do you have any Easter eggs in your stories?

Yes. I’m quite political although I don’t support a political party; there’s a scene I wrote around the time the ConDem Coalition was announced, and the way David Cameron manipulated and continues to manipulate Nick Clegg astounds me! When you get to the scene, you’ll understand what I want to do to Cameron. There is another little Easter egg, but before I tell you here’s a little back-story: in college, I had a horrible time in class because it was my classmates were the same people over and over again for every lesson. As a result, I started hating them and they started hating me, which meant that none of us were friends. Due to this, I befriended some of my teachers. Two of them I can’t technically call ‘friend’ because with one I had a semi-awkward relationship and the other was a hippy and therefore was friendly to everyone. I named two characters after them: Anna Jackson and Demitri Henshaw. Of course, I made the names slightly different to their namesakes. I’m also making one character’s personality similar to that of my Theory of Knowledge teacher – Mr. B – who was probably the best teacher-friend a girl could ask for! I absolutely loved him and would occasionally leave strawberries for him (as a sign of friendship and nothing more). He was the sweetest guy on the planet and the character I have is going to have a carbon copy of his personality. Mr. B is also the reason why there are so many references to strawberries in The Nightmare Man *nervous chuckle*

When you were growing up, what did you want to be?

I thought I was going to be everything *laugh* I was really good at art and drama when I was in primary school, but halfway through the teachers- in addition to the students- started to bully me and I lost enthusiasm for drawing and acting. In secondary school I got into science and started hating most of the arts (the art teacher was a bitch, dance teacher bullied me, music teacher told me my fingers were too short for me to ever be a successful musician and drama teacher was racist to the white students). At that point, around 13, I started writing and intended to be a nuclear physicist/science-fiction author. But then I entered college on the IB Diploma and one of those dreams went down the drain, and I found myself getting back into art, theatre, music… and regretting the time I wasted poring over science books when I should have been practicing the guitar and piano, reciting Ibsen and tapping along to the soundtracks of Fame and The Phantom of the Opera and proving those teachers wrong! I guess it wasn’t too bad though, because I’ve come up with a scientific basis for several of my creatures.

To all our readers out there, thank you for following The Writers Voice and happy reading!

Interview with Constance Sharper

 

Hey all you readers and writers! Emma Michaels here to introduce our guest author of the day:

Constance Sharper

Hello Constance and welcome to The Writers Voice!

What part of your first novel did you find hardest to write?

Everything. Absolutely everything seemed impossible to pound out the correct way. It’s odd that I’ve read hundreds of novels but creating a coherent world with believable characters and events is very difficult. My first novel, which I didn’t publish, is a testament to how far I’ve come over the years and how everyone struggles the first time. In my more recent novels, I find the ending the most difficult part to write. Tying up loose ends is a mental game and trust me, I’m not the puzzle type.

What scares you most?

Well, learning to swim has been on to-do list for a long time so I am probably still afraid of drowning. Mostly though, it’s the lack of control that is scary. That’s why the publishing industry also manages to scare the hell out of me. You have very little control after you put your book out there. Luckily, it has worked out for me so far as well as handling the fear of lack of control. And I will learn how to swim one of these days...

Do you start writing when you have a plot mapped out or start plotting when you have started writing based off a spark of inspiration?

Plotted out. While I jot down scenes and pages based off of inspiration, I’ve never managed to use these in a logical plotline. The idea for Airborne came from a spark of inspiration but the novel itself was structured carefully. Also, plotting out an entire novel makes me more obligated to finish it. It helps prevent me running against a wall or needing to be crazy creative all the time. With the outline it’s simply time to sit down and work. Kind of like coloring between the lines.

Was there ever a moment when you wouldn’t trade what you do as an author for the world? What was that moment for you?

I actually feel like I’m having that moment in my life right now. I recently decided to go back to school full time and work part time (at a non-writing related job). I found out in the past few weeks that it was nearly impossible to keep my schedule and fitting time in to write. Doing so would downright kill me. But then I can’t not write. It’s an obsession. So at this moment I’ve been pulling ridiculous hours to still do what I love. The three a.m. coffee runs and occasional breakdowns are totally worth it.

Aspiring writers often hear, "Read what you want to write," "Hone your writing craft." and, above all else, "Be patient." What other advice would you give them?

Honestly, stop listening to other people’s advice! Don’t take this as me saying the advice you’re given is no good. This is far from the truth because all the quotes above are very true. But it seems like the newbie writing world is filled with nothing but advice, so much so that new writers don’t think for themselves and are filled with loads of self doubt. I tried to follow every rule I was given and was unsuccessful. Then I made my own rules and did it completely differently (I am an Indie author btw) and this worked for me. The main point is: don’t let other voices drown out your own. Jump in and learn how to sink and swim on your own. That way you’ll learn more than what the advice could teach you.

Is there rhyme and reason to how you choose character traits?

For my harpie characters--absolutely. Their race absolutely must predispose them to traits of pride and bad temperament. Cue Mason, the cocky bad boy harpie. But since not every harpie is the same, they still develop their own personalities. I don’t micromanage my characters. They just manage to grow on their own I think. I don’t like perfect characters. My favorites are the flawed ones.

To all our readers out there, thank you for following The Writers Voice and happy reading!