If you follow me on Facebook (my personal one, not the one for Dehumanized) then you can tell I have a bit of a bad issue with becoming obsessed with things. If you don’t follow me, then let me explain.
When there’s something new that I like, whether it be a new song or movie or TV show, I post about it a few dozen times before stopping. Not all at once, mind you, just over the span of a few days. For example: I freaking LOVE Being Human, both the US and UK versions, and I’ve posted probably a hundred videos pertaining to the show on my Facebook. Something else I’ve done is spam people’s newsfeeds with music videos. I’m still wondering why I even have any friends at all haha!
When I get obsessed with something nothing can stop me, and one of my biggest obsessions was writing Dehumanized. I’m not sure what it was, but I just had this need to write this novel. If I wasn’t writing for it, I was thinking about it. If I had writer’s block, I’d think about what I had already written and try to think of ways to improve it. There were times I was afraid this book wouldn’t make it, but even then I was thinking about the day it was published. I may have had a lot of doubts, but I still imagined the day it was done.
I had written short stories before, and I had attempted at writing other novels, but none of them stuck to me like Dehumanized did. It was like this novel and I just clicked, like how strangers do just before becoming best friends. I just couldn’t help but be so fond of this idea I had in my head, and I poured my heart and soul into this book. I’ve tried to write a few new projects since completing Dehumanized, and so far nothing has clicked like it did. It’s like reading a really good book and trying to read something else afterwards and the second book just doesn’t compare to the first.
I even had dreams about Dehumanized, if you’d believe it! I’d dream about being a subject in the camp alongside the other werewolves and witnessing what would come to be scenes in my book. One of the scenes I had dreamt of was the scene where Ryan (the main character) throws up in the bathroom and Jack (one of the baddies) comes in to taunt Ryan. Weird dream, I know, but I pride myself on not being a normal person. I’m polite, but I’m still weird.
When I finished Dehumanized I was having some serious writing withdrawals. I was so eager to finish this novel and when I finally did I wished I could go back in time to write it all over again, just to experience the thrill. It was a sad/happy day when I finished Dehumanized, and I guess it didn’t really hit me until the day after. Even now when I think about it I wish I could go back to write Dehumanized again, not to change anything, but just to experience the ups and downs of writing this novel that came straight from my heart. But, really, at the same time I’m glad it’s now out there. I’m happy people are now able to read the product of one of my biggest obsessions to date, and are enjoying it.
Makes me feel like being an overly obsessed person isn’t such a bad thing after all.
Of course I could still ease up on the Facebook links…